So Badly

As parents, Todd and I had one of those evenings with one of our daughters where we wanted something so badly for her, but that was all we could do – want. The doing was up to her. She had to want it herself.

We could want it for her.

We could encourage her.

We could lecture her.

We could scold her.

We could tell her the benefits.

We could tell her the detriment.

We could get angry with her.

We could do all of these things, but the change is up to her. It is something she must decide and do on her own. If there were a way for us to do this for her we would, however, she would not have the experience to learn from, probably resulting in the same situation again.

I can’t imagine how God must feel about me and toward me as He watches me do life, sometimes in ways that aren’t His. He knows the outcome if I chose my way, He knows the outcome if I chose His way. He wants me to live the life that is possible for me, the life He planned for me, the one that fits His good, pleasing, perfect will.

But He can’t do it for me.

He can teach me, but…

I have to apply it.

As my heart goes out for my daughter, His heart goes out for me. As my life experiences have given me wisdom and insight toward what she deals with, He has infinite knowledge and wisdom toward what I face.

Still, I must choose.

And He must watch and wait.

Father, You have taught me so much about your love for me from being a parent. I can’t begin to list the places in my life where You have guided me, but the ultimate choice was mine and you patiently watched and waited as I learned, sometimes from mistakes. In your perfect ways though, You have used those mistakes to teach me lasting lessons that have impacted my next steps. God, I have always been taught that I should have a holy, reverent fear of You. This is one of those areas where I am developing that fear. You are not afraid to let me fail. Through failure I learn life lessons. I fear being left to my own devices, and I fear life lessons without your influence. Thank You for your mercy, your lovingkindness, and your longsuffering with this slow learner. I pray God that one day, I might make You proud to say that You are my Dad.



Royal Princess Daughter Of The King