I got in my car, turned on the AC – it was hot! I started to drive out of the parking lot and something caught my eye. It was a piece of paper under my wiper blades flapping in the breeze. I had been to lunch with Todd and the girls, so my first thought was, “How sweet! They left a note on my car after they dropped me off!” I pulled the car over so that I could grab the note, excited about what the message might be. I tugged the note from the wiper blade and looked down only to see these words:
“THAT WAS RUDE”
I was shocked! Not at all what I was expecting. Who would have put this on my car? I racked my brain on the drive home, trying to think of what I had done that was interpreted as rude, but to be honest, I thought more about how I could get even if I found out who left me this little token of love. I felt a whisper to my heart – vengeance is Mine. I tried to justify how I felt by thinking of how miserable this person must be and if “they were closer to God” maybe they won’t be so easily upset by whatever it was that I had done. With every justification I felt a little more convicted of the thoughts I was allowing to go through my mind. I tried to reason ways I could get even without being flat out mean, but still getting my point across, and with every idea that came to mind, I sensed Him saying it’s not yours to repay.
I arrived home and looked up the verse that says “vengeance is mine”. I guess I was hoping to see something in there to address people leaving nasty notes on cars! I don’t know - but this is what I read:
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink…….Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12: 17-21
Notice the word “beloved” (the bold lettering is all my doing!) Not only did I hear a whole 30 minute radio broadcast this morning on “Total Forgiveness”, but He had to use the word “beloved” in this verse. I was just studying this week the meaning of my name in reference to scripture. The meaning of “Amy” is - of all things - beloved. As I read the scripture above, it was as if He was saying, “Never take your own revenge, AMY.”
I chose to forgive, and to just put this behind me. I can’t fix it anyway, I can’t change that person’s heart and I know that I didn’t intentionally hurt anyone.
Had I continued to dwell on this all evening, it would have ruined my whole night at church and with my family. Holding on to a grudge would only chain me to the conflict and I would be the one hurting. I heard a statement today that bitterness is the only poison you swallow yourself.
If you would direct your heart right, and spread out your hand to Him; if iniquity is in your hand, put it far away, and do not let wickedness dwell in your tents. Then, indeed, you could lift up your face without moral defect, and you would be steadfast and not fear. For you would forget your trouble, as waters that have passed by, you would remember it. And your life would be brighter than noonday; darkness would be like the morning. Then you would trust, because there is hope; and you would look around and rest securely.
Job 11:13-18
By the way – if anyone knows who left me the “love letter”, please tell them I’m sorry!
Amy Dotson, RPDOTK (Royal Princess Daughter Of The King)
Thanks Amy for this post. I think God was reminding me that he heard my prayer through this post. I have had an ongoing conflict with my neighbor. This neighbor has, in the time he has lived next door to me, got an unruly dog that left gifts on my porch, driveway, flower beds and garden. Their dog has terrorized us from day 1. He has junk on his front and back porch that blows onto our lawn, mows and blows grass on our vehicles, etc. Then he had the nerve to come to my house and tell me that my pop-up camper was too close to the property line and we were mowing on "his property". He was angry about the wood that I stacked up in the back of the property-claiming that the wood was partially on his property and oh, we had to many cars in our driveway and he was sick of looking at them. How do you handle that? He was mad because we had put tree limbs in the wooded area out back on him and they were his trees that we were gracious enough to cut (with his permission) so both of us could mow under them. Hubby and I were gracious and moved the camper, the wood but left our cars in our driveway. I spent most of the next day in a mad state thinking about letting my grass grow up in a strip along his property, erecting a privacy fence down the whole side of my property, planting trees as a barrier, you get the picture. Then I realized that the only person who was suffering from this madness was me. I was mad and I needed to tell my best friend "God" I was mad and to make me better and let Him take care of it. I'm OK now! I never know why I don't just turn to Him immediately in these situations. I guess I'm just a slow learner.
ReplyDeleteJulia M.