He whispered back to my heart about a topic that He and I have visited often, but once again I found myself held hostage by this issue and desperately needed His help to break free. My loving Father is always tender, kind, and gentle when He teaches me things about myself that need to change. I recently told some friends that I had gotten my share of spankings from my dad growing up, but never did I ask for one. The funny thing is, the "spankings" I get from Abba Daddy, although they are not easy, they leave me looking forward to the next "spanking" as an opportunity to learn from His discipline. If you find yourself disciplined by The Father, don't forget this verse, because it's important: Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; For those whom the Lord loves, He disciplines...Hebrews 12:4. After He and I got finished that day, I knew He must love me ALOT!
We talked about many things, but we spent most of our time on one subject.
We talked about simple math.
Mmm Hmm. Simple math, like 2+2 = 4 simple.
I have struggled all of my life with seeking the approval of people, but as an adult, it has become a bigger problem. Take a people pleaser and join her in marriage to a pastor, and Oh. My. Goodness. It ain't gonna be easy.
This issue of where I get my value, and where I find my worth, I thought had been settled, but subtly that same sin had crouched at my heart's door and the moment it could sneak in, the enemy took full advantage of that opportunity.
And he was having a hey day with me.
I knew truth, I knew this verse:
For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?
Or am I striving to please men?
If I were still trying to please men,
I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
I knew it, but didn't use it. I was like a cowgirl going up against Billy the Kid without a gun! Without a weapon, I was sure to lose. Truth wasn't leading me, emotion was, and when emotion leads, you do stupid things like show up for a shoot out with no gun.
The emotions whirling around other people's opinions of myself and my husband were wreaking havoc on my life. I was exhausted with trying to figure out all of the "why's" and "how come's".
I promise - I'm getting to the math part. Hang with me.
The learning began at my desk admist piles of papers, patients, blood pressures, kleenex (ha!), and worship music. Here's what He taught me -
I cannot change people or their opinions. My desire for their opinion about me to change is saying that God's opinion about me is not enough.
Ouch, God, I never saw it that way, I whispered back to Him. I'm sorry. What You say IS enough.
My value cannot equal God's opinion added to man's opinion. If that were the case, the result would be flawed because man's opinion cannot be pure because of our sinful state. He went on to illustrate with a math problem, after all, He IS the one who designed me, and He is very aware that I am a visual learner...
I mean, duh, yall. 2+2 = 4. Add anything else to 2 and you're not gonna get 4, unless some of you smarty britches want to start talking positive and negatives, but that's not simple math anyway! 2+2= 4 just doesn't work any other way, and neither did my twisted equation about God's opinion + man's opinion.
It is what it is. - as my friend Brittany would say.
My worth, my value comes from what God says about me.
If I am trying to please man, I am not trying to please God. I can't please both. If I make pleasing Him my goal, He will take care of the rest.
There was much more I learned from Him that day, and maybe I can share the rest some day soon. In case you missed it, here's another post that was inspired from what He taught me after sharing those morning whispers.
Do you struggle with being a people pleaser? If you do, I hope this helps you too.
Royal Princess Daughter Of The King
yes. yes. yes. and another few yes's. Our identity is secure. In the one who sacrificed it all for us. My identity should only be based on my creator and saviors thoughts, not anyone elses. Why is this so hard to do? Why does it sneak in in subtle little nasty inconspicuous ways? Thank you for sharing this. This is also my prayer for me. *hunts down my measuring stick from our "Deeper" study*
ReplyDeleteYeah - that ole measuring stick! It just keeps coming back to that...
ReplyDeleteI should have learned this over and over because I have a few people in my life that I can never do enough, be good enough or say the right things now and in my past (oh, the dreaded past that you can never apologize enough for) remind me that people in their flesh are somewhat selfish and yes, lonely, possibly unhappy and tend to make life hard on others. I think when people do things to others in the flesh, they too are struggling. God whispered to me just that. When people in the flesh are cruel, you never know what that person is struggling with so be kind. I have learned a lot the past few years thanks to my friends in Christ at GMWC (Amy that includes you) and the talks with God and I am a much stronger people person than I ever was. God Bless you all! Julia M.
ReplyDeleteSIMPLE MATH--- 2+2=4 what a concept... of course why does that surprise me... knowing that God "is in charge"----- with your sharing your words and feelings;; and conversations with the 'ONE' it paints the visual picture for me... I am a visual learner also. Thanks for being one of 'God's Tools in His Toolbox.'as quoted by Bro.Jim. GodBless pt
ReplyDeletewonderfully said... As a pastor's wife, I too can relate with frustration over what others think (and say) about myself and my husband. Sometimes it seems that we're held to an un-human standard. It's so very important that we maintain God as our only "audience". Thank you for sharing your heart. *hugs*
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