Thursday, April 7, 2011

Not A Fan of Verses Such As This

You girls are probably beginning to think I am making an idol out of the subject of idols, but, I promise, I’m not. There is work to be done within me in regards to this subject, so I’ve been trying to let some things soak in and roll around in my mind a bit.

Has anything eye opening soaked in for you?

Oh, I hope so.

I know it sounds kind of scary to think about and you may have avoided thinking about it altogether. Believe me, I totally understand. I was afraid to think about it too at first. I was afraid of what I would learn, I was afraid of how I would feel after I learned it, and I was afraid of being aware of “it” and God being aware that I was aware of it. I was afraid of the pain involved in removing it. Besides, which one of us wants to proudly prance around telling the world she has an idol?

Not me.

Not a moment that you want to commemorate with a scrapbook page, if you know what I mean.

Despite my fears, I did ask Him to show me my idols and I was not surprised at the biggest answer. I guess I already knew it, but admitting it, and calling it what it was – an idol, has made a huge difference.

My “it” has been me. Yes. Me. In the department of self. Self-Control and self-denial has been lacking. Self-service has been on overload. Just agreeing with God about this has brought such a sense of empowerment to pull this little god off of Father God’s throne in my life. Sometimes hour by hour, sometimes day by day.

I have been so reluctant for quite some time to “deny myself”, especially in the areas of food and television, and I’ll be real with you for a minute, I have never been such a big fan of Luke 9:23 and such verses that say things like this:

“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.”

These verses have made me a little uncomfortable, and now I know why, it was the whole "deny himself" thing, but in the midst of my realizing my idol this week, my Sweet, Sweet Savior was right on time to be sure I knew that I wasn’t in this alone.

Here’s the deal - I have always seen the concept of taking up my cross and carrying it in a negative light, as something I would have to do all by myself, and I didn’t like to think about it. He showed me otherwise earlier this week through music, as He often does. It was a regular old day, around mid-morning; I was busy about my job while listening to an Audrey Assad CD at my desk. I have not listened to this CD in months. I mean several months. I have passed it up on my media player dozens and dozens of times, but for some reason, this day I chose it. Not only did I chose this CD, but the player was set on random play, and it not-so-randomly, in a God-kind-of-way, played the song Carry Me.

Packaged within those lyrics, He reminded me of a VERY important truth, one that made hope spring forth about denying myself and taking up my cross. I have been about to burst all week waiting to share it with you all.

Yes, I have to carry this cross.

I do.

It will be heavy.

I will have to deny myself.

But - check this out

Even to your old age I will be the same,
And even to your graying years I will bear you!
I have done it, and I will carry you;
And I will bear you and I will deliver you.
Isaiah 46:4

Do you see what I see here? As I carry my cross, He carries me.

Praise You, and You alone, God! You are worthy of all adoration. You are worthy of all love. All affection. You are worthy of my heart. My WHOLE heart. For when You have my WHOLE heart, I am then made WHOLE. I cannot wait for that day.  Once I was blind, but now I see…

Royal Princess Daughter Of The King
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1 comment:

  1. WoW.... To visually picture him carrying us while we carry our crosses is definitely a reminder of his love for us. This touches my heart to the depths of my soul. To think that he carried his cross on his own while we beat and battered him but because of his love for us, we dont have to carry ours alone. He still wants to carry it for us. That is a love that cannot be understood by humans. Thank you God for loving me this much. Jennifer culp


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