As I sat in worship service yesterday morning and heard the sounds of brokenness, tears, sniffles, and muffled hugs accompanied with background music the thought of a funeral came to mind. When I think of a funeral, I think of soft music playing, I hear crying, you see people hugging and hear the sound of them patting each other. You hear “I’m sorry’s” and “I love you’s” muffled with tears. Such a thought probably came to mind because of the pain I felt within my own heart accompanied by the atmosphere and sounds of weeping that I heard. It almost felt like grieving.
We were asked to turn a page in our lives as a church after several months of desert wandering. We were reminded of Jesus’ command (not suggestion) to forgive those who have hurt us and we were also reminded of His command to love one another (also not a suggestion!) We were reminded of the definition of true anguish for God’s people, the church. Opportunities for restoration abounded.
Hearts broke.
Tears fell.
Hurts were nailed to a cross.
As I could hear the hammer nailing each individual’s pain to the cross, I sat there thinking it was as if we were each grieving an individual loss.
And we were.
Some of the hurts that were being given up were old, they had become part of us. We have carried them with us, nursed them, fed them, cared for them until they were like family and to let them go was like grieving a loss. We were at a loss as to what to do without them.
With the hurt removed, I had to ask myself, “What do I do now since it is no longer a part of me?” I sensed the Holy Spirit whispering in my heart:
You can’t have a resurrection without a death… Let the hurts die, so that I might resurrect something beautiful.
So, I ask you today – what do need to let die so that God can resurrect something beautiful?
Turn a new page and bury that what has been bothering you so that life can come forth from it, God is still in the resurrection business and I am excited to see what is in store for His people.
Abba Father, although we do not like to feel pain, sometimes it is good for us to do so, for in that pain, new life can be raised. I come to you my God Almighty, seated upon Heaven’s throne, and boldly ask You for restoration in hearts and in lives today. I invite You, Holy Spirit, to have an ever present voice in our hearts and minds today as our thoughts drift back to those hurts and we are tempted to resuscitate them. Change begins with in me specifically; remind us to take personal responsibility for that change. It begins in me. It is wrong for me to wait for someone else to change first, that is only my pride speaking, and Your Word says that You hate pride. Give me the discernment to take that thought captive when it comes into my mind and the wisdom to realize that the enemy will try to dangle those hurts in front of me so that I will take them back. Fill my mouth with Your words that I might tell him that those hurts were crucified and are dead and that they are no longer alive to me. I chose life as You instruct me in Deuteronomy 30:19-20 “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.” Give me the remembrance to tell the enemy that I CHOSE LIFE, I want NO PART of the destruction he dangles before me and that I am waiting in expectation of the new life You will bring forth from this death.
Amen
P.S. Tomorrow is Testify Tuesday! So be thinking of your God stories to share with us!
Royal Princess Daughter Of The King
As I was listening to the sounds of the nails being driven into the cross, my heart broke.
ReplyDeleteSome were quiet and gentle taps, and then others... Others were driving the nails into that cross with such passion and intensity that you could feel them being freed from their bondage with each blow of the hammer. Some it seemed couldn't pound the nails in fast enough or hard enough.
They were saying, "Jesus You died on this cross for this thing that I am nailing to it. I'm going to make sure this thing I'm carrying around stays nailed down this time."
My prayer at the altar said those words, as I am sure so many others did as well. I prayed that I would leave those things nailed to the cross, and that you wouldn't find me trying to pull out the nails later so that I could take those things back with me.
Christ died for those sins. He died for them. Why would I want to take them back with me?
Today I am reflecting on the furious pounding of the hammers, the crying, and the sobbing. In the background I see a risen Savior arms outstretched, with the open holes showing where He was once nailed, and I hear His voice speaking to my heart saying "It was worth it. You are worth it."
I TOO THOUGHT OF A SPECIFIC FUNERAL I HAD ATTENDED..THE SOUNDS OF DEEP, HURTING PAINFUL WEEPING FILLED THE AIR YESTERDAY..IT WAS A GOOD DAY THOUGH, WHEN I LEFT THE BUILDING YESTERDAY FOR ONCE IN A LONG TIME IT ACUTALLY FELT LIKE A CHANGE TOOK PLACE IN OTHERS AROUND ME AS WELL AS MYSELF. IT FELT SO GOOD JUST TO FALL ON MY KNEES AND THANK GOD FOR WHAT MAY BE TO COME. THANK YOU TO OUR CHURCH LEADERS FOR LISTENING TO GOD AND CARRYING OUT SUCH A POWERFUL SERVICE. -APRIL
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